Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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