have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
