I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
