somebody snuck up and got me drunk
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
cat food counts as protein by the way
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
