JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
