its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
