thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
