Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
