I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
