They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm passing your future prison.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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