you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
