i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
