I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
