she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
