they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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