dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
