I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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