she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
