About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
