i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
