thus making me awesome and them whores
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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