Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
