I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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