The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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