i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
