Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
