I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
are you so shy because you have an std?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
