Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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