When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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