Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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