in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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