We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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