I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You smell like stripper and shame
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
