I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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