Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
