Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
