I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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