it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Randomize
