Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
