Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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