Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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