well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
