the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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