But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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