You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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