member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
