question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
