I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
only if we run a train.
done.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
