dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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