Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
how drunk are you?
Several
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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