If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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