can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
