i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
